A man goes into a pub, and walks up to the bar very stiffly. He
carefully lowers himself down into a bar stool. "What's the matter
with you?", asks his mate. "These piles I've got are playing up again"
he replies. "I'll let you in on a secret", says his mate. "Get a load
of used teabags, tear them open, and pack all the used leaves around
your arse."
"Does that really work?", he asks. "Of course it does. I've been
doing it for years".

The next day the man walks into the bar, even more stiffly, and
carefully lowers himself onto a bar stool. "What's the matter with
you?", asks a different mate. "These piles I've got are even worse
than ever", he replies. "Another bloke told me to pack tealeaves
around my arse, but it's made it even worse."
"You don't want to listen to any old wives tales, you better go see
the doctor.", his mate tells him.
So the man went to see his doctor.
"What seems to be the problem?", asks the doctor. "I've got really
bad piles, and I wondered what you could do about them.", says the
man.
"Take off your trousers and pants, and bend over the bed", says the
doctor, while putting on his rubber gloves.
The doctor takes a quick look, and asks the man why he has tealeaves
packed around his arse. He explains that his mate told him it would
cure his piles. The doctor continues fishing around for a while.
"Well?", asks the man.
The doctor replies, "I can't do anything about your piles....
....but you are going on a long journey !!!!"