A man is going to work one day and accidentally slams his penis in the
     car door.

     Goes to the doctor, and the doctor says, "We're going to have to put a
     splint on that."  The guy says, "No way Doc, I'm getting married in a
     week."

     The Doc replies "Well if we don't, it's going to be bent for the rest
     of your life."

     Finally the guy agrees, and the doctor gets out a couple of tongue
     depressors and some tape and fixes him up.

     A week later, and he's on his honeymoon.  His new wife is doing a
     slow, seductive strip-tease in front of him.  She takes off her bra
     and says, "See these, they've never been touched by a man before."
     She then takes off her panties and says, "See this, it's never been
     seen by a man before."

     So the husband whips off his shorts and says, "See this, it's not even
     out of the crate yet!"