A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't
seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!" "What do you
mean? I'm fine." "What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that
before." "Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a
cannon ball hit my leg but the Doc fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Oh yeah? Well what about that hook? The last time I saw you had
both hands." "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship.
I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the Doc fixed me
up with the hook, and I feel great, really." "Oh," said the
bartender, "what about that eye patch? The last time you were in here
you had both eyes." "One day when we were at sea some birds were
flying over the ship. I looked up and one of them crapped in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't have lost an eye
just from some bird crap!" "Well, I really wasn't used to the hook