As the Christmas season draws nigh, foretelling the end of over a full month
of Commercial Christmas, there is a special urgency in the spirits of
children as they visit toy stores and toy departments all over the country.
It was with particular urgency that little Wilbert dragged his mother to the
toy department in a big Los Angeles department store. Mother quickly steered
Wilbert into the line of children waiting to talk to Santa, but Wilbert was
far more interested in the hobby horse.

As soon as his mother relaxed her vigilance for a moment, Wilbert vanished
from the Santa Queue and began rocking back and forth on the hobby horse. His
mother noticed his absence, and after a quick, frantic search, spotted him on
the horse. She let him rock for a few minutes, then told him it was time to
get off. Wilbert ignored her. She began to beg; Wilbert paid no attention.
She began to make promises of sugarplums, etc., if only Wilbert would get off
the hobby horse. He stuck his nasty little tongue out at her.

Then Santa himself, who had been watching this little family drama out of the
corner of his eye, stepped over and said to Wilbert's mother, "Perhaps I can
persuade your son to cooperate." "I doubt that," said the mother, "but you're
welcome to try."

Santa, with a big smile, whispered quietly into Wilbert's ear.
Wilbert's eyes grew very large, he quickly slid off the horse and took his
mother's hand. Together, with no fuss, they left the store.

As they drove home, Mama asked Wilbert what Santa had whispered to him.
Wilbert was silent. Mama began offering bribes (toys and German Chocolate
cake) if Wilbert would only tell Mama what Santa's words were. Wilbert turned
pale and wouldn't utter a word.

What had Santa said? Wilbert's mother was determined to find out. She had
never been able to get the kid to obey that easily, and decided it was worth
a great deal of effort on her part to discover what magic Santa Claus had
used on Wilbert.

She continued to bribe him with a soft voice and much cajolery, and Wilbert's
stubborn streak finally faded. What did Santa say?

Wilbert now answered: "He said, 'Listen, you little son of a bitch, if you
don't climb your ass the hell down off that horse right this second, I'm
going to kick the living piss out of you!' "