Description: Cat Food for Husband
This woman has her bridge club every Thursday night and after a
peaceful game or two with the ladies, she goes home to fix her husband
dinner when he gets home from work. Well, one Thursday, she's playing a
great game and she has an incredible hand when she notices the time.
"Oh, no! I have to go fix my husband his dinner! He's going to be so
angry if it's not ready on time." And she dashes out of her friend's
house, her great hand forgotten on the table.
When she gets home, she realizes she has very little time, not enough
time to go to the supermarket, and all she has in the cupboard is a
wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she
opens the can of cat food, stirs in the egg, and garnishes it with the
lettuce leaf just as her husband is pulling up. She watches in horror
as he sits down to his dinner, and then she realizes he is loving it!
"Mmmm, darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty
years of marriage. You can make this for me any old day, mmmmm!" And
that night they had sex for the first time in months and it was great!
Needless to say, every Thursday from then on, she made this dinner for
her husband. She tells her bridge cronies about it and they are all
"You're going to kill him," they say, or "He's just yanking your chain,"
but she continued to make him his cat food dinner and then, afterwards,
they would bonk like fiends.
Two months later, her husband died and all the bridge women the Thursday
after the funeral attacked our new widow for being so callous. "You
We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in!
How can you just sit there so calmly and play bridge knowing you
murdered your husband?"
The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the mantel
when he was licking his ass."