Description: Offensive to the Dead - Very
The evening after Mr. Wilkins lost his wife scuba diving, he answered the
doorbell rather late to find two policemen. "We're sorry to call on you at
this hour," they said, "but we have some information about your wife."
"Well...tell me!" he demanded.
One officer said, "We have some bad news, some pretty good news, and some
really great news."
Mr. Wilkins replied, "Give me the bad news first."
So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but we found your wife's
body this morning in San Francisco Bay."
"OH MY GOD!," said Mr. Wilkens. Then, remembering what the policeman had
said, he asked, "What's the good news?"
"Well," said the policeman, "when we pulled her up she had two five-pound
lobsters and a dozen good-size Dungeness crabs on her."
"Huh?" he said, not understanding. "So, what's the great news?"
The policeman smiled, licked his chops, and said, "We're going to pull her up
again tomorrow morning."