Description: Bill Gates Goes to Heaven
Subject: Bill Gates Dies (poss. off. to software companies)
The following was forwarded from "Heroika K Muljadi" and
was found on the in-house E-Mail at Intuit:
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory,
being sized up by St. Peter.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure where
to send you. After all, you helped society enormously by putting
a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created
that ghastly Windows `95. I'm going to do something I've never
done before. In your case; I'm going to let you decide whether
you want to go to Heaven or Hell."
Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?"
St. Peter: "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if
it will help your decision."
Bill: "Fine, but where should I go first?"
St. Peter: "I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean sandy beach with
clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing
in the water, laughing, and frolicking about. The sun was shining;
the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is Hell, I REALLY
want to see Heaven!"
"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about,
playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as
Hell. Bill thought for a minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm.
I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.
"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to
Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late
billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there,
he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in
dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons. "How's everything
going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and
disappointment, "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I
visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What
happened to the other place, with the beautiful beaches, the
scantily-clad women playing in the water?"
"That was a demo," replied St. Peter.