FileTitle: Joke358.html
Category: Humor
Type: Joke
Description: Bill Gates Goes to Heaven
Subject: Bill Gates Dies (poss. off. to software companies)

  The following was forwarded from "Heroika K Muljadi"  and
  was found on the in-house E-Mail at Intuit:

  Bill Gates dies in a car accident.  He finds himself in purgatory,
  being sized up by St. Peter.

  "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call;  I'm not sure where
  to send you.   After all, you helped society enormously by putting
  a computer in almost  every home in America,  yet you also created
  that ghastly Windows `95.     I'm going to do something I've never
  done before.     In your case; I'm going to let you decide whether
  you want to go to Heaven or Hell."

  Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?"

  St. Peter:  "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly,  if
  it will help your decision."

  Bill:  "Fine, but where should I go first?"

  St. Peter:  "I'll leave that up to you."

  "Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."

  So Bill went to Hell.   It was a beautiful, clean sandy beach with
  clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing
  in the water, laughing, and frolicking about. The sun was shining;
  the temperature was perfect.  Bill was very pleased.

  "This is great!"  he told St.  Peter.  "If this  is Hell, I REALLY
  want to see Heaven!"

  "Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.

  Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about,
  playing harps and singing.     It was nice, but not as enticing as
  Hell. Bill thought for a minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm.
  I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.

  "Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to
  Hell.

  Two  weeks  later,  St.  Peter   decided  to  check  on  the  late
  billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell.    When he got there,
  he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in
  dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons. "How's everything
  going?" he asked Bill.

  Bill  responded,   with   his  voice   filled  with   anguish  and
  disappointment,  "This is awful!   This is nothing like the Hell I
  visited two weeks ago!   I can't believe this is happening!   What
  happened  to  the other  place,   with the beautiful beaches,  the
  scantily-clad women playing in the water?"

  "That was a demo," replied St. Peter.