Description: Baked Beans with a Side Order Of...
Once upon a time there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked
beans. He loved them, but they always had a very embarassing and somewhat
lively effect on him. Then one day he fell in love. When it was apparent
that they would marry, he thought to himself "She is such a sweet girl.
She will never go for this kind of carrying on". So- he made the supreme
sacrifice and he gave up beans.
They were married shortly thereafter. Some months later, his car broke
down on the way home from work, and since they lived in the country, he
called his wife and told her that since he had several miles to walk home,
he would be late. On the way, he passed a small cafe and the odor of
freshly baked beans was overwhelimng. Since he still had several miles to
walk, he figured that any ill effects would wear off by the time he got
home. So, he stopped and had three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home he putt-putted, but by the time he arrived, he felt
reasonably safe. His wife seemed somewhat agitated and exclaimed "Darling,
I have the most wonderful surpise for dinner tonight". Then she
blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the table. He
seated himself, and as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the phone
rang. She made him vow not to remove the blindfold until she returned and
ran off to answer to phone.
Seizing the opportunity, he shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It
was not only loud but rotten as ripe eggs. He took the napkin form his lap
and fanned the air vigorously around him. Things had just returned to
normal when he felt another urge, so he let go again.
While keeping his ear n the conversation in the hallway, he went on like
this for ten minutes until he knew the phone farewells indicated the end
of his wife's conversation.
He folded his napkin carefully in his lap and was the very picture of
innocence when his wife returned, apologizing for taking so long.
She asked if he had peeked, which of course he had not, so she removed the
blindfold to reveal...
Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for a Surprise Birthday