>      The Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers
>  20> Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
>  19> Fetch command not available on all platforms.
>  18> Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
>  17> Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
>  16> Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've
>      Got Mail."
>  15> Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
>  14> Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing
>      www.pethouse.com instead of working.
>  13> Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
>  12> Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
>  11> Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies
>      tail-wagging.
>  10> Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the
>      Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
>   9> Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
>   8> 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS!  Now, cats, on the other hand...
>   7> Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice
>      recognition software.
>   6> SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
>   5> SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out
>      of the question!
>   4> Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manuever.
>   3> Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
>   2> Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than
>      online chat rooms.
>
>      and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers...
>
>   1> TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,. *