Everyone who watched the movie "Roxanne" will recall the scene in a bar
where Steve Martin's character humiliates a wise- guy who has made a
rude remark about his nose.  The guy is asked if he can't come up with
some wittier remark than he made, and he sarcastically asks if Martin
can come up with something better. Martin says he can in fact produce
twenty "Something Betters".

Did anyone notice that in fact he reels off TWENTY-FIVE?

1. Obvious: "Excuse me, is that your nose, or did a bus park on your
face?"

2. Meteorological: "Everybody take cover, she's going to blow!"

3. Fashionable: "You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore
something larger, like Wyoming."

4. Personal: "Well, here we are, just the three of us."

5. Punctual: "All right, Dellman, your nose was on time, but you were
fifteen minutes late."

6. Envious: "Ooh, I wish I were you, to be able to smell your own ear."

7. Naughty: "Pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked if you
wouldn't mind putting that thing away."

8. Philosophical: "You know, it's not the size of a nose that's
important, it's what's in it what matters."

9. Humorous: "Laugh and the world laughs with you; sneeze and it's
goodbye Seattle."

10. Commercial: "Hi, I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for
$39.95."

11. Polite: "Ah, would you mind not bobbing your head?  The, ah,
orchestra keeps changing tempo."

12. Melodic: (Everybody) "He's got the whole world.. in his nose."

13. Sympathetic: "Ooh, what happened, did your parents lose a bet with
God?"

14. Complimentary: "You must love the little birdies to give them this
to perch on."

15. Scientific: "Say, does that thing there influence the tides?"

16. Obscure: "Hoo, I'd hate to see the grindstone."

17. Enquiry: "When you stop and smell the flowers, are they afraid?"

18. French: "Sir, ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until
you leave."

19. Pornographic: "Finally, a man can satisfy two women at once."

20. Religious: "The Lord giveth, and he just kept on giving, didn't he?"

21. Disgusting: "Say, who mows your nose hair?"

22. Paranoid: "Keep that guy away from my cocaine."

23. Romantic: "It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell
the coffee ... in Brazil."

24. Appreciative: "Ooh, how original! Most people have their teeth
capped."

25. Dirty: "Your name wouldn't be ... Dick, would it?"