FileTitle: List1994.html
Category: Humor
Type: List
Description: Definitions - Adult
Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.
Adolescence: The age between puberty and adultery.
Adultery: When a husband is too good to be true.
Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
Alimony: The high cost of leaving.
Artificial Insemination: Copulation without representation.
Automated: A couple making love in a car.
Avalanche: A mountain getting its rocks off.
Bar Stool: What Daniel Boone stepped in.
Brothel: Home is where the tart is.
Calculated Risk: A computer date with a girl who doesn't take the pill.
Castration: A eunuch experience.
Censor: One who sticks his no's into other peoples business.
Cherry Cobbler: A virgin shoemaker.
Chivalry: A man's inclination to save a woman from everyone but himself.
Clear conscience: Poor memory.
Cobra: Bra worn by Siamese twins.
Compulsive Gambler: A guy who wouuld rather lay a bet.
Condominium: A condom for midgets.
Contrceptive: A labor saving device to be worn on every conceivable
occasion.
Conversation Piece: A girl who likes to talk in bed.
Death: Natures way of telling us to slow down
Debate: What lures de fishes.
Divorce Court: A hall of blame.
Egotist: A guy who suffers from I strain.
Entrance Exam: Precoital check-up.
Executive suite: A sugar daddy.
Exhibitionist: A person who discards three aces in strip poker.
Exotic Dancer: A girl who brings home the bacon a strip at a time.
False Pregnancy: Laboring under a misconception.
Feast of the Vestal Virgins: Cherries jubilee.
Football Game: A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a
fifth.
Genius: A nudist with a memory for faces.
Gigolo: A fee-male.
Glass: Chinese marijuana.
Gold Digger: A girl who breaks dates by going out with them; a gal who
believes in sinner take all.
Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
Happily Married Couple: Husband out with another mans wife.
Henpecked Husband: One who is afraid to tell his pregnant wife that he is
sterile.
Home Cooking: The place many a man thinks his wife is.
Homosexual: A man's man.
Horizon: A call girl hopping out of bed.
Hungarian: A very well-endowed man from Gary, Indiana.
Impotence: Emission impossible.
Incest: A sport the whole family can enjoy.
Jamaica: Question usually asked of a fraternity man when he returns from a
date.
Jury: A group of twelve people selected to decide which side has the best
attorney.
Legal Secretary: Any girl over eighteen.
Lesbian Cocktail Lounge: A her-she bar.
Liquor Store: A stupor market.
Locomotive: A crazy reason for doing anything.
Love Letter: A noose paper.
Lovers Leap: The distance between two twin beds.
Madam: Someone for whom the belles toil.
Man Hater: A girl who makes love with her eyes closed because she can't
stand to see a guy having a good time.
Marriage: The evil aye.
Maternity Dressmaker: A mother frocker.
Mermaid: A bottomless girl in a topless suit.
Meteorologist: A man who can look into a girls eyes and predict whether.
Minute-Man: A guy who double parks in front of the whore house.
Mistress: Halfway between a mister and a mattress.
Motel: A love-inn.
Mourner: Same as a 'nooner'-only sooner.
Nice Girl: One who whispers sweet nothing-doings in your ear.
Nudism: Exposure with composure.
Nudist Camp: A place where the peeling is mutual.
Nudist Colony: A place where men and women air their differences.
Nymphomania: A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.
Optimist: A husband who goes down to the marriage license bureau to see if
his has expired.
Oral Contraceptive: The word "no".
Orgasm: The gland finale.
Oriental Grocery Clerk: A Chinese checker.
Pajamas: Item of clothing laid by the bed in case of fire.
Paranoid: A couple interrupted by a cop in lover's lane.
Peeping Tom: A window fan.
Penicillin: What to give a man who has everything.
Pessimist/Optimist: A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An
optimist is one who hopes so.
Peyote: A tranch plant.
Picnic and Panic (the difference between): Twenty-eight days.
Piece de Resistance: A French virgin.
Pimp: A snatch purser.
Poise: Raising only one eyebrow on your first trip to the nudist camp.
Political Moderator: A guy who makes enemies left and right.
Polyunsaturated: A dry parrot.
Potholder: What you don't want to be when the cops arrive.
Practical Nurse: One who falls in love with a wealthy patient.
Pregnancy: Taking seriously something that was poked in fun.
Prostitue: A busy body.
Puritan: A man who no's what he likes.
Pylon: What a nymphomaniac says a a nude beach party.
Racehorse: An animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at one
time.
Race Track: A place where windows clean people.
Ramification: What made Mary have a little lamb.
Relay: The second time around.
Repeal: A stripteaser's encore.
Sadist: A person who gives a paralytic friend a self-winding wristwatch.
Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home.
Salesmanship: The difference between rape and rapture.
Score Pad: A bartchelor's apartment.
Sex: The most fun you can have without laughing.
Sex Drive: Trying to find a motel that has a vacancy.
Shebang: A girl who can't say no.
Shotgun Wedding: A case of wife or death.
Slipcover: Maternity dress.
Snow Job: Something a man uses to defrost a woman.
Spice: The plural of spouse.
Spinster: An unlusted number.
Stagnation: A country of single men.
Stoic: De boid what brings de babies.
Suburban Husband: A gardener with sex privileges.
Suicide: The sincerest form of self-criticism.
Summertime: The season where there's nothing much on TV OR on the girls at
the beach.
Sun Bathing: A fry in the ointment.
Sympathy: What one woman offers another in exchange for the details.
Synonym: A word you use when you can't spell the other one.
Taxpayers: People who don't have to pass a civil servants exam in order to
work for the government.
Tease: A girl who is always thnking of a man's happiness-and how to prevent
it.
Titillate: A tardy meal for a breast-fed baby.
Trade Relations: What incestuous couples do at a family reunion.
Transistor: A girl who used to be your brother.
Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary.
Urination: What Israel was told in 1948.
Vicious Circle: A wedding ring.
Virgin: A girl who hasn't met her maker.
Wedding Ring: A one-man band.
Wiener: The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race.
Wife: The woman who stands by her husband through all the trouble he
wouldn't have had if he had stayed single.
Wife-Swapping: A type of sexual fourplay.
Will: A dead giveaway.
Window Dresser: A girl who doesn't pull down the shades.
Winter: The season when a gentleman befurs a blonde.
Zebra: The largest size a woman can buy.