FileTitle: List1994.html
Category: Humor
Type: List
Description: Definitions - Adult
Acute Alcoholic:  An attractive drunk.
Adolescence:  The age between puberty and adultery.
Adultery:  When a husband is too good to be true.
Alcoholic:  A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
Alimony:  The high cost of leaving.
Artificial Insemination:  Copulation without representation.
Automated:  A couple making love in a car.
Avalanche:  A mountain getting its rocks off.
Bar Stool:  What Daniel Boone stepped in.
Brothel:  Home is where the tart is.
Calculated Risk:  A computer date with a girl who doesn't take the pill.
Castration:  A eunuch experience.
Censor:   One who sticks his no's into other peoples business.
Cherry Cobbler:  A virgin shoemaker.
Chivalry:  A man's inclination to save a woman from everyone but himself.
Clear conscience:  Poor memory.
Cobra:  Bra worn by Siamese twins.
Compulsive Gambler:  A guy who wouuld rather lay a bet.
Condominium:  A condom for midgets.
Contrceptive:  A labor saving device to be worn on every conceivable
occasion.
Conversation Piece:  A girl who likes to talk in bed.
Death:  Natures way of telling us to slow down
Debate:  What lures de fishes.
Divorce Court:  A hall of blame.
Egotist:  A guy who suffers from I strain.
Entrance Exam:  Precoital check-up.
Executive suite:  A sugar daddy.
Exhibitionist:  A person who discards three aces in strip poker.
Exotic Dancer:  A girl who brings home the bacon a strip at a time.
False Pregnancy:  Laboring under a misconception.
Feast of the Vestal Virgins:  Cherries jubilee.
Football Game:  A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a
fifth.
Genius:  A nudist with a memory for faces.
Gigolo:  A fee-male.
Glass:  Chinese marijuana.
Gold Digger:  A girl who breaks dates by going out with them; a gal who
believes in       sinner take all.
Hangover:  The wrath of grapes.
Happily Married Couple:  Husband out with another mans wife.
Henpecked Husband:  One who is afraid to tell his pregnant wife that he is
sterile.
Home Cooking:  The place many a man thinks his wife is.
Homosexual:  A man's man.
Horizon:  A call girl hopping out of bed.
Hungarian:  A very well-endowed man from Gary, Indiana.
Impotence:  Emission impossible.
Incest:  A sport the whole family can enjoy.
Jamaica:  Question usually asked of a fraternity man when he returns from a
date.
Jury:  A group of twelve people selected to decide which side has the best
attorney.
Legal Secretary:  Any girl over eighteen.
Lesbian Cocktail Lounge:  A her-she bar.
Liquor Store:  A stupor market.
Locomotive: A crazy reason for doing anything.
Love Letter:  A noose paper.
Lovers Leap:  The distance between two twin beds.
Madam:  Someone for whom the belles toil.
Man Hater:  A girl who makes love with her eyes closed because she can't
stand to see a guy having a good time.
Marriage:  The evil aye.
Maternity Dressmaker:  A mother frocker.
Mermaid:  A bottomless girl in a topless suit.
Meteorologist:  A man who can look into a girls eyes and predict whether.
Minute-Man:  A guy who double parks in front of the whore house.
Mistress:  Halfway between a mister and a mattress.
Motel:  A love-inn.
Mourner:  Same as a 'nooner'-only sooner.
Nice Girl:  One who whispers sweet nothing-doings in your ear.
Nudism:  Exposure with composure.
Nudist Camp:  A place where the peeling is mutual.
Nudist Colony:  A place where men and women air their differences.
Nymphomania:  A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.
Optimist:  A husband who goes down to the marriage license bureau to see if
his has expired.
Oral Contraceptive:  The word "no".
Orgasm:  The gland finale.
Oriental Grocery Clerk:  A Chinese checker.
Pajamas:  Item of clothing laid by the bed in case of fire.
Paranoid:  A couple interrupted by a cop in lover's lane.
Peeping Tom:  A window fan.
Penicillin:  What to give a man who has everything.
Pessimist/Optimist:  A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad.  An
optimist is one who hopes so.
Peyote:  A tranch plant.
Picnic and Panic (the difference between):  Twenty-eight days.
Piece de Resistance:  A French virgin.
Pimp: A snatch purser.
Poise:  Raising only one eyebrow on your first trip to the nudist camp.
Political Moderator:  A guy who makes enemies left and right.
Polyunsaturated:  A dry parrot.
Potholder:  What you don't want to be when the cops arrive.
Practical Nurse:  One who falls in love with a wealthy patient.
Pregnancy:  Taking seriously something that was poked in fun.
Prostitue:  A busy body.
Puritan:  A man who no's what he likes.
Pylon:  What a nymphomaniac says a a nude beach party.
Racehorse:  An animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at one
time.
Race Track:  A place where windows clean people.
Ramification:  What made Mary have a little lamb.
Relay:  The second time around.
Repeal:  A stripteaser's encore.
Sadist:  A person who gives a paralytic friend a self-winding wristwatch.
Safety Belt:  The one you don't drink before driving home.
Salesmanship:  The difference between rape and rapture.
Score Pad:  A bartchelor's apartment.
Sex:  The most fun you can have without laughing.
Sex Drive:  Trying to find a motel that has a vacancy.
Shebang:  A girl who can't say no.
Shotgun Wedding:  A case of wife or death.
Slipcover:  Maternity dress.
Snow Job:  Something a man uses to defrost a woman.
Spice:  The plural of spouse.
Spinster:  An unlusted number.
Stagnation:  A country of single men.
Stoic:  De boid what brings de babies.
Suburban Husband:  A gardener with sex privileges.
Suicide:  The sincerest form of self-criticism.
Summertime:  The season where there's nothing much on TV OR on the girls at
the beach.
Sun Bathing:  A fry in the ointment.
Sympathy:  What one woman offers another in exchange for the details.
Synonym:  A word you use when you can't spell the other one.
Taxpayers:  People who don't have to pass a civil servants exam in order to
work for the government.
Tease:  A girl who is always thnking of a man's happiness-and how to prevent
it.
Titillate:  A tardy meal for a breast-fed baby.
Trade Relations:  What incestuous couples do at a family reunion.
Transistor:  A girl who used to be your brother.
Transvestite:  A guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary.
Urination:  What Israel was told in 1948.
Vicious Circle:  A wedding ring.
Virgin:  A girl who hasn't met her maker.
Wedding Ring:  A one-man band.
Wiener:  The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race.
Wife:  The woman who stands by her husband through all the trouble he
wouldn't have had if he had stayed single.
Wife-Swapping:  A type of sexual fourplay.
Will:  A dead giveaway.
Window Dresser:  A girl who doesn't pull down the shades.
Winter:  The season when a gentleman befurs a blonde.
Zebra:  The largest size a woman can buy.