The Washington Post Sytle Invitational Challenge asked people to come up
with a country song title:

7th runner up:
        Jump in the hefty bag, baby, 'cause I'm takin' out the trash.

6th runner up:
        She gimme any more lip, you gonna have to call me Jagger.

5th runner up:
        My best man was her daddy's shotgun.

4th runner up:
        Why don't we get drunk and (Thud) ...

3rd runner up:
        I Knifed the forklift driver 'cause he was spoonin' with you.

2nd runner up:
        Won't you be my Ballantine?

1st runner up:
        I'd rather pass a kidney stone than another night with you.

AND THE WINNER IS:

        Lovin' you clogged my arteries with your big fat lies, then you
bypassed my heart for some other guy.