Subject: Brickbats: Tart observations as a form of humor

If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down
and look comfortable.

You can keep those other breeds of dogs. I got myself a laborer
recliner.

I called the suicide hot line yesterday and when I told him how much
money I lost in the market, he told me to just go ahead.

Would it be racist to have a white million man and a white million
woman march in Washington?

If you really want a gourmet meal, try Beanie Weenies with soda
crackers and a big dill pickle.

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and
I don't care.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder.

Wouldn't it be great if there as an "edit undo" button in life?

If you are incompetent, don't worry. Just think, in a few years
you'll be in upper management!

I thought that it was pretty cool when I married Miss Wright; that is
until I found out that her first name was Always!

No one is ever totally useless. They can always serve as a bad
example.