POLITICS MADE SIMPLE
                         ____________________
 
 Do you have trouble understanding politics?  If so, the following
 primer (thanks to the Manitoban - University of Manitoba) should clear it
 up for you. No bull.
 
 Socialism -    You have two cows. Give one to your neighbour.
 
 Communism -    You have two cows. Give both to the government.
       The government gives you milk.
 
Stalinism-     You have two cows. The government takes both your
       cows, your money and your wife and shoots you.
 
Capitalism -   You sell one cow and buy a bull.
 
Facism -       You have two cows. Give milk to the government.
                    The government sells it. 

Nazism -       The government shoots you and takes the cows.

New Dealism -  The government shoots one cow, milks the other,
                         and pours the milk down the sink.
 
Anarchism -    Keep the cows. Steal another one.
                      Shoot the government.
 
Conservatism - Freeze the milk. Embalm the cows.
 
Liberalism -   Give away one cow.  Get the government to
                    give you a new cow.  Now give them both away.