FileTitle: List449.html
Category: Humor
Type: List
Description: More Will Rogers-ish Sayings
THINGS WILL ROGERS NEVER SAID-4
(but probably wishes he had)
--A bachelor is fellow who believes he is entitled to life,
liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.
--Gossip is letting the chat out of the bag.
--After all is said and done, there's more said than done.
--Tact is the art of making guests feel at home when that's where
you wish they were.
--Did you ever wonder why there are no father-in-law jokes?
--It's bad to supress laughter--it backs up and gives you
a fat head.
--The only thing so simple that a child can operate it is a
grandparent.
--The only thing domestic about me is that I was born in
this country.
--Contrary to popular opinion, the Women's Lib movement did
not start when women got tired of dancing backward.
--I just got a physical and asked the doctor "How do I stand?"
He said "That's what puzzles me."
--Bill Edwards got fired as a pharmacist. He kept breaking
the prescription bottles in the typewriter.
--A beggar asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said:
"First, let me see the sandwich."
--In school Maury was teacher's pet. She couldn't afford
a dog.
--Why is it that whenever a pilot points out things of interst,
they're always on the other side of the plane?
--Prejudice is a wonderful time-saver. You can form opinions
without bothering to obtain facts.