FileTitle: Prose108.html
Category: Humor
Type: Prose
Description: Language, Twain
"A Plan for Improving the English Spelling"  by Mark Twain:

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be
replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part
of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be
the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform
"w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant,
wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might
fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with
Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so
modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant
letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould
doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl,
kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

Mark Twain