Patient:  Doctor, I tend to get fat in certain places.  What should I
do?
Doctor:  Keep away from those places.
****
Doctor:  How were those pills I prescribed to improve your memory?
Patient:  I forgot to take them!
****
A man walked into a doctor's office with his suit ripped and his arms and
face bleeding.
The nurse took one look at him and asked, "Have an accident?"
The man replied, "No thanks, I already had one."
****
Patient:  Doctor, something is wrong with me.  I keep thinking I'm a
frog.
Doctor:  How long has this been going on?
Patient:  Since I was a tadpole.
****
Patient: Doctor, you've got to help me.  My neck feels like a pipe and
my muscles are as tight as steel bands.
Doctor:  I think you should stop taking the iron pills.
****
I think it's only fair that a doctor who prescribes a placebo should be
paid with counterfeit money.