---THE BOBBIT HILLBILLIES
     
Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named John, 
A poor ex-marine with his little pecker gone
It seems one night after gettin' with his wife 
She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife 
(Penis, that is -
Clean cut, missed the nuts).
     
Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side 
Lorena's in the car, taking "Willie" for a ride
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend
And she tossed him out the car as she rounded the bend 
(Curve, that is -
Tossed the nub, in the shrub).
     
She went to the cops and confessed to the attack
They called out the hounds just to get his weenie back 
They sniffed and they barked and pointed "over there" 
To John's little weenie that was waivin' in the air 
(Found, that is -
By the fence, evidence).
     
Now "Willie" and John couldn't stay apart too long 
So the dick doc said "Hey I can fix your Dong!"
A needle and some thread is all we're gonna need
And the whole world waited 'til they heard that Johnny peed 
(Whizzed, that is -
Even seam, straight stream).
     
Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court 
With a half-assed lawyer, cause his assets came up short 
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape
And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape 
(Video, that is -
Unexposed, case closed).
     
Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now, ya hear?!!