Subject: Easter humour

As Jesus was being crucified, he called out, "Peter!  Peter!  Come
here!"  So Peter started towards him, but a Roman soldier wounded him.
Jesus called out "PETER! COME QUICKLY!", so the bleeding Peter
continued to get closer, but another Roman soldier cut off one of his
feet.  Jesus called out again, "PETER!  I MUST SEE YOU!", so Peter
continued hopping and bleeding toward Jesus, but another soldier cut
off his other foot.  Jesus called out again, "PETER!  PETER!!  PLEASE
COME HERE!", so Peter continued, crawling, and finally managed to get
to the foot of Jesus's cross, bleeding badly and missing his feet.
"What is it, my Lord?  I am here!", he said.  Jesus said, "Look!  I
can see your house from here!"