Panicked by a letter from the IRS that he's gonna be audited, a man
 calls his accountant. The accountant tells him not to worry: he has all
 the necessary bills, receipts and records. But he suggested, just to be
 on the safe side, that the man dress shabbily, so the auditor will think him
 poor and go easy on him.

 Not convinced, the man calls his lawyer next and explains he's to be
 audited and what the accountant told him. The lawyer said he disagreed;
 the man should dress nice, so the auditor will see he's a respectable
 person.

 More confused and worried than ever, the man calls his minister and
 tells the story a third time, as well as the advice he's been given. The
 Minister sez, "I have the same problems with marriages. The Mother of
 the bride wants her to dress like an old fashioned girl. Naturally, the
 groom wants her to wear something provocative. I'll tell you the same
 thing I tell the bride.  It doesn't matter much what ya wear, or don't
 wear -- you're gonna get screwed good."