FileTitle: Joke252.html
Category: Humor
Type: Joke
Description: That Refrigerator Joke Again
Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven.
However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven will only admit
33% of applicants today. The admission standard: Who died the
worst death? So St. Peter takes each of the three men aside in
turn and asks them about how they died.
FIRST MAN: "I'd been suspecting for a long time that my wife was
cheating on me. So, I decided to come home early from work one
afternoon and check to see if I could catch her in the act. When
I got back to my apartment, I heard water running. My wife was
in the shower. I looked everywhere for the guy, but couldn't
find anyone or any trace that anyone had been there. But the
last place I looked was out on the balcony. I found the bastard
hanging from the edge, trying to get back in!!"
"So, I started jumping up and down on his hands, he yelled, but
he didn't fall. So I ran inside and got a hammer, and crushed
his fingers with it until he fell twenty-five floors screaming in
agony. But the fall didn't kill the Son of a Bitch - he landed
in some bushes! So, I dragged the refrigerator from the kitchen
(it weighed about a ton), pulled it to the balcony, and hurled it
over the edge. It landed right on the guy and killed him."
"But then, I felt so horrible about what I had done, I went back
into the bedroom and shot myself."
St. Peter nodded slowly as the man recounted the story. Then,
telling the first man to wait, he took the second aside.
SECOND MAN: "I lived on the twenty-seventh floor of this
apartment building. I had just purchased this book on morning
exercises and was practicing them on my balcony, enjoying the
sunshine, when I lost my balance and fell off the edge.
Luckily, I only fell about two floors before grabbing another
balcony and holding on for dear life. I was trying to pull
myself up when this guy came running onto what must have been his
balcony and started jumping up and down on my hands. I screamed
in pain, but he seemed really irate. When he finally stopped, I
tried to pull myself up again, but he comes out with this hammer
and smashes my fingers to a pulp! I fell, and I thought I was
dead, but I landed in some bushes. I couldn't believe my second
stroke of luck, but it didn't last long - the last thing I saw
was this enormous refrigerator falling from the building down on
top of me and crushing me."
St. Peter comforted the man, who seemed to have several broken
bones. Then he told him to wait, and went to the third man.
THIRD MAN: "Picture this. You're hiding - naked - in a
refrigerator...."