Subject: Men translations 

WHEN HE SAYS                          HE REALLY MEANS
----------------                      ------------------
You have a girlish figure             Your breasts are like pebbles
That's a nice dress                   You're between the remote and the
                                       TV
You want                              I better buy
It's your decision                    It's my decision
Do what you want                      I'm going back to sleep
I'm not upset                         I hope you don't like that lamp
                                       I'm about to smash
You make me feel like a man           I'm cheating on someone
You're a sweet girl                   You're ugly as dirt
The dishwasher's broken               Give me a month with it before you
                                       call anyone
Are you ready to go?                  This is the last time I'm asking
Do you want to stay home?             I already have a date
I heard a noise                       I'm getting my gun
I'm going out for some beer           You're on the rag and I need sex
We can't afford it                    You wanted it
I just bought it                      I wanted it
I remember                            What are you talking about?
OK                                    I'm watching the game
Can you get the phone?                I'm watching the game
I'm listening                         I'm watching the game
I love you                            Don't stop
I really love you                     Please don't stop
Was it good for you?                  I'm late for a poker game
                                      I'm leaving you