FileTitle: Prose1772.html
Category: Humor
Type: Prose
Description: Wife 1.0, Installation
>       Upgrading to Wife 1.0
>
>
>Last year a friend of mine upgraded from Girlfriend 4.0 to Wife 1.0 and
found that it's a memory hog leaving few system resources for other
applications. He is also now noticing the Wife 1.0 is also spawning
Child-processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention
of this particular phenomenon was included in the product documentation,
though other users have informed me that this is to be expected due to the
nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself so that
it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all
other system activity. Some applications such as PokerNite 10.3 , Bachelor
Party 2.5, and Pubnite 7.0 are no longer able to run on the system at all,
causing the system to lockup when launched (even though the apps worked fine
Party 2.5, and Pubnite 7.0 are no longer able to run on the system at all,
causing the system to lockup when launched (even though the apps worked fine
before). Wife 1.0 provides no installation options. Thus, the installation
of undesired plug-ins such as Mother-in-law 55.8 and the Brother-in-law Beta
is unavoidable. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing
day. Some features my friend would like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0: A
"don't remind me again" button. Minimize button. Ability to delete the
"headache" file An install feature that provides an option to uninstall 2.0
version without loss of other system resources. An option to run the network
driver in "promiscuous mode" allowing the system's Hardware Probe feature to
be much more useful/effective. I myself wish I had decided to avoid all of
the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 3.0. Even
here, however, I have found many problems. Apparently you cannot install
Girlfriend 4.0 on top of girlfriend 3.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 3.0
first, otherwise the two versions of Girlfriend will have conflicts over
shared use of the I/O port. Other users have told me that this is a
long-standing problem that I should have been aware of. Guess that explains
what happened to versions 1 and 2. To make matters worse, the uninstall
program for Girlfriend 3.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable
what happened to versions 1 and 2. To make matters worse, the uninstall
program for Girlfriend 3.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable
traces of the application in the system. Another identified problem is that
all versions of Girlfriend have annoying little messages about the
advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0! VIRUS ALERT All users should be aware
that Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1
before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before
doing the uninstall itself. Once that happens, Mistress 1.1 won't install
and you will get an "insufficient resources" error message. To avoid the
aforementioned bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and
"never" run any file transfer applications (such as Laplink) between the two
systems.  FYI: Don't even think about a shared directory!!!!!!!!!
>
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