FileTitle: Prose194.html
Category: Humor
Type: Prose
Description: Answering Machine Messages
You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy
now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist
suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to
leave your name, number, and a message.

I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an
answering machine? Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe
YOU don't really exist. One way to find out is to leave a message, and if
it's reality, I will call you back.

(Noisy pick-up of phone.) Hi, I'm a burglar and I was just about to steal
Troy's answering machine. If you give me your name and number I'll... Uh,
I'll post it on the fridge where he'll see it. Uh... By the way, where did
you say you live?

Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was
the last day of the previous period of your life. After the beep you can
tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message. Thanks.