- Be a Fundamentalist--make sure the Fun always comes before the
mental. Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be
canceled. A laugh track has been provided, and the reason why we are put
in the material world is to get more material. Have a good laughsitive
twice a day, and that will ensure regularhilarity.
- Remember that each of us has been given a special gift, just for
entering - so you are already a winner!
- The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision. That is
where I tell a vision to you, and you tell a vision to me. That way, if we
don't like the programming we're getting, we can simply change the
- Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop.
- It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought
particles tend to get caught between the ears, causing a condition called
truth decay. So be sure to use mental floss twice a day. And when you're
tempted to practice tantrum yoga, remember what we teach in Swami's
Absurdiveness Training class: *Don't get even, get odd.*
- If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly
live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at me. That
way, there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. And peace begins with
each of us. A little peace here, a little peace there, pretty soon all the
peaces will fit together to make one big peace everywhere.
- I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so if
you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple. When you find a
fault, just don't dwell on it.
- There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet train
the world, and we'll never have to change it again.
- If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I have some bad
and some good news. The bad news is: there is no key to the Universe. The
good news is: it has been left unlocked.
- Finally, everything I have told you is channeled. That way, if you
don't like it, it's not my fault. And remember, enlightenment is not a
bureaucracy. So we don't have to go through channels.